Basketball Fiend

Posts Tagged ‘they tried to put me in a box’

(Photo credit: Getty Images)

In this case “entertaining” means anything from “throws down crazy dunks on a regular basis” to “hangs out in the hotel lobby in his underwear”.

It’s an all-encompassing list.

Bonus Runner-Up: Delonte West

I’m going to level with you. I didn’t intend on having 11 players on the list. But how could I leave off Delonte? His hot sauce in my bag freestyle was so funny I nearly coughed up a lung. You can’t script comedy like that. Delonte’s KFC masterpiece was absolutely, without a doubt, my favorite video of the year. He makes the list. Period. End of discussion.

Bonus Runner-Up #2: Stephon Marbury

If you thought I was done with the bonus section, you thought wrong. There’s no way in the fiery depths of Fran Drescher inhabited hell that I’m going to leave Starbury off this list. He gave us not one, not two, but three laugh out loud comedy moments this summer. The “Put Me in a Box” video, the “I Eat Vaseline” video, and the “Ain’t Nothin’ But the Devil” video. None of them were basketball related, but who cares? They were unscripted bits of comedy genius, and I couldn’t stop watching them. Neither could my friends. Neither could my professors. (Yes, you read that right. I sent Starbury videos to my professors.) He makes the list. Deal with it.

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Photo courtesy of ESPN.com.

Beginning on Friday, July 24 and carrying into Saturday, July 25, Stephon Marbury: NBA Outcast conducted a 24-hour live-streaming video broadcast. It was a wild ride, one that I missed thanks to an excellent vacation down in San Luis Obispo.

Here’s a recap I’ve compiled to make up for my negligence.

Origins

Stephon Marbury’s first attempt at a live broadcast started on July 22 with a myriad of technical difficulties and “Starburyisms”, causing J.E. Skeets at Ball Don’t Lie to dub him “the most interesting man in the world.”

Among Marbury’s pearls of wisdom:

“John Stockton is a computer. He’s playing chess with you. He’s doing stuff to you before it even happens.”

“Mandarin is gonna be the language in 15-to-20 years.”

“I’m not doing a movie like Bassy … yet. I got a movie coming out Christmas Day. Brooke Shields is in it.”

And, “I’m telling you what it is: I know I’m the best point guard in the NBA. I don’t need anybody else to tell me that.”

I’m beginning to think that Skeets is right. With quotes like this, Marbury may well be the most interesting man in the world.

The Real Beginning

July 25 - Marbury’s second attempt at uStream was much more successful. 24 hours of live streaming video from Marbury equals insanity of the highest order. Higher even than the guy dressed like an extra from The Warriors who tried to sabotage my vacation in SLO. (Didn’t work.)

Shout out to Jared Wade of Both Teams Played Hard for bringing Starbury’s uStream to my attention on Friday, just before I left town. Twitter remains king.

Instant Classics

Marbury broadcast live from Friday morning until Saturday morning, creating potential for a slew of if you missed it, you missed out moments.

Fortunately, uStream saves all of the best clips for posterity. So guys like you and me can go back and catch the zaniest, craziest moments on video, regardless of where we were - or how drunk we were - when those moments were broadcast live.

These are my favorite archived moments so far:

Steph shows viewers his pool. Tour includes a sneak peek at his endurance workout and the now famous line, “They tried to put me in the box!” Verdict? Instant classic.

Steph tells “true lies” about his “baby”, a Mercedes SLK. I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I’m strangely mesmerized. Verdict? Instant classic.

Steph keeps it real. Never before have I heard so many words to describe absolutely nothing. Verdict? Instant classic.

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