Basketball Fiend

The Celtics held off a late surge from Kobe Bryant and Co. to beat the Lakers 92-86 in Game 5 Sunday. L.A. now faces the unenviable task of winning two games in a row against the Celtics, albeit at home. Otherwise they relinquish their 2009 crown and lose to a hated rival two times in three years — not a good look when you’re trying to put together a “greatest of all-time” resume. Yeah, Kobe. I’m looking at you.

Boston won by playing great team defense and hitting open looks — as a team they shot an incredible 56.2 percent from the field, which is insane when you consider a) this is the NBA Finals and b) they hadn’t shot over 45 percent in any of the previous games. They got stops when they needed to and knocked down their free throws (what few they got) when it mattered. It was as complete a performance as we’ve seen since Game 1, when the Lakers absolutely tore the Celts apart.

In terms of individual performances, Paul Pierce broke out of his Finals slump with 27 points. Kevin Garnett had his most complete game of the series, scoring 18 points to go along with 10 rebounds and five steals. And Rajon Rondo contributed his usual usual: 18 points, 8 assists, 9-of-12 shooting from the field.

However, the play of the night belonged to His Black Mambaness, Kobe Bryant.

Kobe scored 38 points on the night (19 in the third quarter alone), including the following one-handed alley-oop. At this point I was convinced he wasn’t going to miss a shot until MJ unretires a third time. That’s how on fire he was. (Video courtesy of NBA.com)

Kobe eventually cooled down and ceded the ball to Pau Gasol for a few possessions — until that point I didn’t think Gasol even existed anymore. I thought he had disappeared like that girl who tried to sail around the world. (I can say that now, right? She’s been found and everything? Okay, cool.) That didn’t go well. Gasol flopped around and fumbled the ball away like it was 2008, finishing with just 12 points on a very un-All-Star-like 5-of-12 shooting.

To insult to injury, Gasol also got blocked. And he got blocked hard. Like I want to erase you, your kids and everything everybody ever knew about your life hard (a.ka. the Enemy of the State block).

Kudos to Tony Allen for the best weak side assault we’ve seen since King James got eliminated.

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The other day I referenced busboy Ricardo Reyes’ victories over LeBron James and Charles Barkley in Pop-A-Shot and wondered aloud who his next challenger would be. Unfortunately, my prayers for Robert Horry weren’t answered — damn you, Kimmel! Instead we got to see the next best thing (okay, let’s be honest, the 3,567th best thing): Kobe Bryant.

Kobe was respectable. He put up a score in the 50s. But Reyes still worked him like Emilio Estevez in Men at Work. (Yeah, I don’t blame you. I don’t get it either.) His final score was higher than Regis Philbin’s age.

Kobe swatted the 5-foot-7 mini-ball savant for good measure, but Reyes had the last laugh: hoisting the Pop-A-Shot trophy high over his head as Cousin Sal looked on with delight.

I’ve never seen Kobe smile so big after a loss. More importantly, I’ve never seen the winner smile back with so few teeth.

Ricardo se ganó!

(H/T, Lakers Nation)

Advances in transportation have all but wiped out paddle surfing as a means of crossing great distances of water, but that hasn’t stopped Steve Nash from trying to bring it back. I hardly think that Landon Donovan jersey shirt is going to keep him warm through the cold oceanic nights, but I’m sure he’ll get to South Africa eventually. Otherwise how is he going to provide  World Cup coverage for CBS Sportsline?

To follow Steve’s coverage of World Cup 2010 click here. For my coverage of the tournament, including analysis of Team USA’s tie against England click here. And for video of Big Baby Davis stealing creme de menthe from Jerry Buss’ personal suite click here.

(Just kidding. There’s no video of Big Baby stealing Jer’s liquor — sorry, a cruel joke I know. That doesn’t mean it didn’t happen though…)

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This exchange took place after Game 3 on Tuesday. I’d say something to the effect of poor Ric Bucher, but he seemed to enjoy every second of it.

(H/T, Bill Simmons)

Today I was shooting hoops at the gym. A kid walked by and told me I was awesome. It was his fifth birthday. I gave him a high five. Life’s pretty awesome when you’re five. Here are your top NBA stories for Wednesday, June 9.

1. The Nets have reached a verbal agreement with coach Avery Johnson that will make him the team’s new head coach. I agree with Sebastian Pruiti when he says Johnson is the perfect fit for New Jersey. Yes, Johnson has struggled in the postseason (remember Dallas’ epic meltdown in 2007?), and, yes, he has had run-ins with Nets point guard Devin Harris in the past, but he’s a defense-first, no-nonsense disciplinarian who has had great success in the regular season. Also, his high-pitched voice will excellently complement Mikhail Prokhorov’s thick Russian accent. You couldn’t script a better post-game press duo.

2. The NBA scored high marks in diversity once again, according to a report from the University of Central Florida, which does an annual report examining gender and race in each of the major professional sports. David Stern and Co. earned an “A,” but I’m curious as to why. The report says that 77 percent of NBA players are black, 18 percent are white and 3 percent are Latino. In other words, the league is dominated by players who are black. That’s not diversity! That’s majority! I don’t have a problem with the league being dominated by one or another race of people, but I do think there’s a misinterpretation here about the meaning of the word.

3. An L.A. busboy named Ricardo Reyes trounced LeBron James and Charles Barkley in pop-a-shot competitions on the Jimmy Kimmel Show coinciding with Games 1 and 2 of the Finals. Reyes is crazy good. He reminds me of Kyle Korver, only if Kyle Korver was a 5-foot-7 Latino with buck teeth. Needless to say, I’m waiting with baited breath to see who he matches up against in Game 3. Please be Robert Horry. Please be Robert Horry. Please be Robert Horry.

4. The Miami Heat threw a big surprise party for Udonis Haslem on Wednesday to celebrate his 30th birthday. Attendees included Alonzo Mourning, James Jones and over 200 team employees in “We Want U Back” shirts. Haslem was impressed by the turnout, but I’m pretty sure he would have preferred a new contract (seeing as he’s a free agent this summer and Miami is looking to fill its cap space with two max contract players).

5. Former NBA power forward and resident bad ass Charles Oakley was reportedly beaten up by a Las Vegas security crew earlier this week. Oak suffered a broken arm in the melee. The details of the incident are sketchy at best, which leads me to believe it wasn’t a team of security guys at all, rather a black ops special forces group commissioned by Reggie Miller to put the hurt on his former rival. The code name? Operation Winning Time.

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Sorry for the four-day hiatus. I was in Maui getting tan and drinking margaritas. Yeah, I know. Rough life. Here are the top basketball stories for Tuesday, June 8.

1. The Cavaliers are in hot pursuit of Michigan State icon Tom Izzo. Cavs owner Dan Gilbert is a fellow MSU grad and a great admirer of Izzo’s. The reported offer is five years, $30 million. Detroit News writer John Niyo asks if the contract has a 30-day return policy. You know, in case LeBron chooses to jump ship…

2. Speaking of LeBron, Derek Jeter refuses to recruit him to New York. The gist of Jeter’s argument: “LeBron’s cool and all, but basketball is basketball and baseball is baseball.” The legendary Yankees shortstop thinks New York’s history of winning speaks for itself. He’s got a point.

3. Two things I learned about Glen “Big Baby” Davis today: he shops at Sean John and he wants to win the Finals so he can visit President Obama in the White House. Somebody get Michelle on the horn; tell her to hide the good china.

4. Entertainment billionaire David Geffen wants to buy the Clippers from Donald Sterling. Sterling says hell no, calls Clippers “an asset of remarkable value.” Will the madness never stop?

5. Speaking of madness, Hedo Turkoglu reportedly wants to return to Sacramento. Tom Ziller says thanks but no thanks; unless the Raptors are willing to throw in DeMar DeRozan and the 13th overall pick. I love TZ, but dream on, man. Bryan Colangelo’s a sucker, but he’s not that big of a sucker.

If you’re wondering, my Game 3 Finals prediction is Celtics by 4 in overtime.

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The Cavaliers and general manager Danny Ferry decided to part ways Friday, just two weeks after Cleveland fired head coach Mike Brown.

More details from the Associated Press report:

Ferry’s departure Friday after five seasons occurred two weeks after the club fired coach Mike Brown following the team’s second-round loss to the Boston Celtics in the NBA playoffs. It also comes as the team is making plans to try to re-sign two-time MVP LeBron James, who will be a free agent next month.

Ferry was in the final month of his contract. He said the decision not to renew his contract was a mutual one with owner Dan Gilbert.

“I thought it was important that there was as much clarity as possible in the organization at this time, so things could start moving forward,” Ferry told The Associated Press. “I appreciate all that Dan has done to build a world-class organization.”

The Cavaliers are a world class organization, unfortunately what has made them great (their willingness to spend money in the pursuit of winning) also led to their early departure from the playoffs — Ferry acquisitions Shaquille O’Neal and Antawn Jamison hindered the Cavs more than they helped in the series against Boston.

Personally, I admire Ferry’s ability to get the Cavs to their first finals in team history, but I think he was in over his head toward the end of his tenure. The Shaq trade made little on-court sense to me and Jamison obviously did not fit into Cleveland’s defensive scheme — without Anderson Varejao helping on Mo Williams’ man, the lane was clear for cutters to the basket, which effectively broke down the Cavs’ defense.

Ferry’s moves reeked of desperation. Whether or not that desperation came as a result of Dan Gilbert’s influence remains to be seen.

Either way, I think the Cavs will be okay without Ferry — as long as LeBron James re-signs that is.

Assistant GM Chris Grant will take the reins as the Cavs desperately try to keep LeBron on the payroll this summer.

Good luck, Chris. Oh, and don’t eff this up. The future of the franchise is riding on you.