Basketball Fiend

The “G-Man” is going to call his 2,000th career game Wednesday night (Kings-Wizards). No big deal. Only four other announcers have done it (called 2,000 games for the same NBA franchise. But the real news is that he once announced a sumo wrestling match alongside Pat Morita.

From News10.com:

[Gerould] admitted his toughest assignments include a celebrity skeet shooting event and sumo wrestling in Japan, alongside his analyst, actor and friend Pat Morita, who played Mr. Miyagi in the “Karate Kid” movie series.

Yeah, that’s right. Gary Gerould and Mr. Miyagi on the same broadcast.

Eat your heart out, Kings fans.

I’m joking, of course.

Gerould deserves much higher praise than a dumb “Karate Kid” shout out. His voice was one of the hallmarks of my childhood. He’s my favorite announcer off all-time; radio or otherwise,

Growing up a Kings fan without a TV in the house, I listened to the “G-Man” religiously. He was there for the crappy Duane Causwell years and for the wonder years with Webber, Vlade and Bibby. However, the years in between — the Mitch Richmond/Jason Williams era — was my favorite.

No one illustrates a basketball highlight better than Gary. And J-Will provided his share of highlights.

Of the G-Man’s 2,000 broadcasts, I’ve probably listened to 700 of them. Which is far too few in my mind. Basketball on the radio is an art form where he’s involved.

At 70 years old, he’s still doing his thing and doing it well.

“He’s got the bucket!”

Hopefully we’ll be hearing that phrase for many years to come.

The Nets and Bobcats combined to score just 65 points in the first half of play the other night. Sebastian Pruiti of NBA Playbook.com calls it the worst half of basketball he’s ever seen.

Do you agree? (Video below.)

I’ll be in attendance tomorrow for Kings-Clippers at Staples Center. That’s right. The two worst teams in the NBA. It’ll be like Gigli on hardwood.

Hopefully it doesn’t get any worse than what we see above.

Ever seen a praying mantis?

No? It’s cool. I don’t get outdoors much either.

Here’s what one looks like.

Now compare that to Andre Iguodala’s dunk on Gerald Wallace in Saturday’s Sixers-Bobcats game. Pretty similar, no? (Video below.)

Assist, The No-Look Pass.

Every season I put together a list of can’t miss players to watch in person. It’s a popular thing to do. If you’re an NBA fan, you probably have a list like this too.

Mine’s an easy list. It’s pretty short: LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Kevin Durant, Dwight Howard, Chris Paul, Kobe Bryant, Carmelo Anthony, Amar’e Stoudemire, Darko Milicic. Just kidding. Darko’s not on my list.

You know who is now, though?

Blake Griffin.

I saw him live against the Spurs last night and he’s easily the most entertaining player I’ve seen in person in three years. Maybe more. When he’s on the court you literally can’t take your eyes off him. You’ll miss something breathtaking. Like a reverse two-handed dunk with a defender in his face. Or an alley-oop from beyond the 3-point line. Or a posterization of Hall-of-Famer Tim Duncan.

He’s incredible, and, according to Gregg Popovich, a gladiator.

How can you say no to a gladiator?

You shouldn’t. That’s the point.

If you haven’t seen Blake yet in person, go. Immediately. Sell your grandfather’s heirloom watch if you have to.

Just kidding. Don’t do that. That’s ridiculous.

But do make your way to Staples Center sometime on a non-Lakers, non-LA Kings night. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Until then, enjoy these monstrous highlights from Wednesday night’s Clippers-Spurs game:

More after the jump.

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Green didn’t just erase CP3’s drive to the basket. He blacked it out like a censored war letter.

Kid Cudi would be proud.

Video below.

The Thunder went on to a 95-89 win, increasing their win total to 12 and extending New Orleans’ losing streak to two games. The Hornets are 5-5 in the last 10 games, which is surprising given their hot start to the season.

Assist, TBJ.

You all know how I feel about the McCarthy era tactics the NBA is using to keep anti-LeBron apparel out of Quicken Loans Arena when the Cavs play host to the Heat on Dec. 2. But let’s take a moment to explore the possibilities if no ban existed.

If you were a Cavs fan and really wanted to stick it to LeBron, what kind of stuff could you buy to prepare for his return?

For me, the conversation begins and ends with the FU LBJ foam middle finger.

You can buy one on Craigslist for $10 (free shipping).

The FU LBJ finger is the ultimate taunt. It says exactly what you want to say to LeBron without getting you kicked out of the arena for profanity. Plus, it’s comfortable and it fits over your non-beer drinking hand. A perfect solution for the guy who doesn’t want to get cramps in his hand from going Eminem all game.

Just don’t let your kid get a hold of it for President’s Day.

That could be bad.

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Few people on this planet are as egotistical or as cool as Kanye West, which is why his music video for “Power” made so much sense. An epic canvas with Kanye at the center, surrounded by beautiful women not wearing bras? Yeah. That’s Yeezy alright.

Dirk Nowitzki though? Not so much.

There’s not much Kanye in the low-key Mavs’ star, which is why this Dallas remake is fun but not exactly fitting. (Video below.)

However you feel about Kanye and his tumbling-over-his-own-balls ego routine, you have admit this is a phenomenal effort by the Mavericks’ PR department.

They even found an oversized chain for Dirk.

What I’m wondering, though, is where’s Roddy Beaubois?

Is that him in the lower right corner?

If so, let’s get him up a little higher. Injured or not, he’s a star in the making. He deserves better billing.

Get it together, Cuban.

Assist, Terez Owens.